My photo
I'm a twenty-nine year old Army wife currently living near a large Army post. I have an unhealthy obsession with Dr. Pepper, the Internet, cloth diapers, and ridiculous TV shows. I'm a stay at home mom to two beautiful daughters, AJ and Amelia. We also have a 6 year old beagle named Abby who is as dumb as a box of rocks.
Powered by Blogger.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Real Housewives and Teen Mom

I married my husband for money. Didn't you?

Okay, all you MilSpouses can stop laughing now. I'm obviously kidding, seeing that the amount of money most military members bring home each month is usually just enough to get by.

I'm not going to complain about the deployments, small paychecks or countless arguments my husband and I have about stupid work-related topics. I won't bore you with the statistics that show the real cost of these wars we're engaged in.

I am, however, open to any and all discussions regarding The Real Housewives of anywhere (except New Jersey) and Teen Mom, because all I do is sit around eating bon bons, watching trashy reality television and thinking of new and more extravagant ways to spend my husband's enormous paycheck.

Come on, fellow MilSpouses, isn't that how you spend all your free time?

I recently received an anonymous comment to the post I wrote about the narrowly-averted government shut down that really got under my skin. It didn't bug be me because the commenter was wrong, but the fact that they weren't brave enough to log in and comment so that I could respond to the criticism.

I can't be mad about what was said, because, well, its true. I do watch Real Housewives and Teen Mom, and I certainly spend most of my husband's paycheck each pay period, usually on things like the mortgage, groceries and utility bills. I also find myself nagging my husband from time to time (who doesn't?).

My question is then, why are military spouses called out for spending our husbands' money? Are we not a family? Did we not both make the decision for me to stay home? Are there not civilian families with stay at home parents? Why is a military wife staying home and managing the house any different from a civilian wife who does the same? I don't see anyone accusing her of spending her husband's money.

I guess I just don't see what the point of the comment was. Am I supposed to feel bad about wanting to watch reality television? Maybe is that I'm supposed to feel guilty because I don't work and we're a one-income family. Perhaps the person who wrote the comment is just an ignorant fool and doesn't realize that military spouses are a very unique group of people who won't take insults laying down.

**I published the comment because, while I don't think the comments section of my blog is the appropriate place for someone to express their opinions on military spouses, I wanted the author to be able to exercise his or her right to free speech. I don't have any problem with people feeling this way, heck, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I think there is a better time and place to express it.

Oh, and aside from being annoyed that someone would anonymously write a comment that was clearly intended to be rude and disrespectful, I'm annoyed that I feel the need to defend my actions.


  1. I love Teen Mom.
    I ADORE Bethenny Getting Married...

    I didn't think I'd become this attached to my milbloggers as much as I have until moving from VA to CA. I used to think milspouses were lazy in that they didn't work. Now I realize it's freakin' hard to restart your career when moving ALL THE TIME. I'm struggling doing that now, but I'm loving the challenge.

    It's just something you don't understand until you live it.

    Too bad we can't track the IP address of the commenter...muah muah muah.

  2. I'm a stay at home Navy wife. I stay at home and I don't even have kid to watch:) I do own my own home-based business that's part-time, so I do help bring in a little money. But my husband & I are both ok with the fact that I don't work full time. Money is tight but what he makes provides for us. And he also doesn't see it as HIS money. It's ours. I guess I don't understand those couples who see it as "their" money but that's just me. If it works for them, great!

  3. God bless all of the military families out there.
    Beth, I have never been in shoes, and probably never will be, but you are an amazing wife, mother and home-maker! We all have our guilty pleasures and deserve a few moments every day to enjoy them. For me, it's HGTV:)
    You keep doing what you do: making an incredible home for your daughter and hard-working, life-risking husband. Ignore those who are pathetic enough to post anonymously. Love you, dear cousin!

  4. I went back and read the comment you are talking about. As if the blatant sarcasm wasn't enough, he or she decided making fun of Southern people would add a real nice touch to the whole ignorant comment. Ugh..some people are such a disappointment. He or she obviously could never handle a day in our shoes. Nor would I want them too!

    As for the money thing, it's for richer or poorer, no matter who brings home the bacon. What? Are you supposed to NEVER use any of the money your hubby brings home just because you didn't physically go to the job and do the work yourself? Ridiculous. You take care of the household and the kids. You make sure life stays on track while he is away. Too bad we all don't get paychecks for that! It's hard (and I don't even have the kid part yet!) Maybe that person should direct his or her energy towards some of the people who are abusing Medicaid. No job, no income, but keep on poppin out those babies...they love that free ride! But I digress...

    Real Housewives is one of my most favorite reality TV guilty pleasures. That, and Million Dollar Listing or the Bachelor! Ahh who am I kidding...I love 'em all! Every time I tune in I am reminded that someone on one of those shows is WAY more screwed up than I am! Instant confidence boost! hehe :)

  5. So, check this out.

    I stay home. I don't have a job. I watch Teen Mom (but not Real Hosuewives), and *gasp* We don't even have kids!

    I spend my husbands paycheck every single month with no issues. I pay rent, electric, phone, insurance, car payment, grocery shop, and pick up little things for him that would make him happy in my eyes (sometimes I win, sometimes I don't).

    I nag the hell out of him. I fail to see why I shouldn't grip when he leaves his underwear in the middle of the living room floor when he's getting ready in the morning.

    I also keep the house clean, when he leaves stuff everywhere. He has dinner ready and waiting for him EVERY SINGLE NIGHT when he walks through the door (or at least almost ready - he never has to wait more than 15 minutes). He hasn't done a load of laundry in YEARS, except last weekend when I was in Chicago vising my cousin. He hasn't had to clean a kitchen, bathroom, living room, etc.

    So yes, I spend his paycheck, but i also do a lot of work. Just because I'm not out at a "job" every day, doesn't mean I'm not "working."

    I hate ignorant, uninformed people.

  6. Woo hoo, good for you! Oh and you forgot to mention that us MilSpouses also spend our husband's money on book club, haha! That whole attitude just makes me so angry. My husband doesn't have to grocery shop, cook, clean, take care of dogs, etc. Does that mean that I'm not working? Ignorant.

  7. I love your response to that comment, Beth. And I'm watching Teen Mom right now- seriously.

    I just have to address the fact that that the cowardly person who felt the need to leave a comment without the courage to back it up apparently also is questioning the education level of the military spouse. Are you implying that I must be southern because of your use of "yall" or that I can't speak proper English? Wow, please don't try to make me feel dumb on top of all your other stereotypical insults. Wake up, and realize you can't judge until you've been there.

  8. It's so funny they would make a comment like that...because clearly they don't understand anything about the military community/family. I'm sorry someone left you a hurtful comment. :(

  9. I think its really lame if someone doesn't have the ovaries to leave their comment and show their name.

    What is wrong with being a stay at home mom? People don't understand that the realities of having a career while your husband are in the military are more complicated. If you were a civilian wife, no one would be giving you crap about staying home and spending money on your family. Why must we come under scrutiny because our husbands are paid with tax dollars? With all the hardships, what is the problem with escaping into a little reality tv?

  10. All I can say is, AMEN AMEN AMEN! I got a few not-so-nice emails after the averted shutdown, and let me tell you, I realized all the more, people DO NOT GET what being a milspouse is.

  11. New follower here...

    Yes, don't all of us military wives spend our husbands paychecks every 2 wks? The answer is always YES, because we are the ones that are left at home to pay the bills, raise the kids and keep the household up while our husbands are out playing war games...real life war games I might add!

    So yes, we might sit on the couch and watch mindless tv shows to help pass our time by, when the kids are all tucked into their beds at night and we aren't able to fall asleep because our husband isn't beside us.

    Great post, and don't mind stupid anonymous commenters! We have all had them and they are idiots! If you can't sign your name to your comment, that your a coward!

  12. someone's got a boot up their booty! Don't worry about people like that if you can help it.

  13. Maybe it's because I'm a feminist, or maybe it's because half my team and more than half my leadership were female, but the constant assumption that military spouses are all women, and that all Soldiers are men pisses me off. I had, and have, plenty of hard-working female Soldiers and Officers below me whose husbands stay at home, watch kids, wait up waiting for them to come home from long days, tend the dogs, go to FRG meetings, paint posters when we return and otherwise do the same thing wives do...But whomever that commenter was (ignorant of both reality and grammar) obviously knows nothing of what sacrifice military spouses, male or female, make. The good news about free speech (and I'm glad you posted the comment) is that sometimes people are so damned ignorant and idiotic that their own words are enough to prove how outlandish their ideas are. It's like that commonly repeated phrase, "better to say nothing and let people think you're an idiot than to open your mouth and confirm it." In his case...confirmation received.


I'd love to know what you think...