One of Those Days....

**UPDATE: We found Abby Dog! I was coming back from the grocery store and when I came in the gate of our neighborhood I asked the guard at the guard shack if they would post my flyer in the window and he did me one better! He handed me a flyer that someone had given him, advertising a "Found Beagle" who was our Abby Dog! Yay! Thank goodness for kind neighbors!**

I'm having one of those days.

Its actually been going on longer than just today, but today has been extra-special.

It all started Monday when I had to get in the car to drive home from the trip. Why is the drive home never as fun as the drive to the vacation? I'm not sure why I was so crabby, I was actually looking forward to getting home.

After we got just far enough away from my parent's house to be in the middle of freaking nowhere, my car broke down. Seriously.

I stopped at a gas station that had a DQ (yummy) and got gas, then drove the car to a parking place so AJ and I could grab lunch. We walked back out to the car with Blizzard in hand and the car won't start. In fact, it wouldn't even turn over, making me think it was really bad and was most likely going to strand us for 2 days in the middle of nowhere cost $9000 to fix. (The stranding in the middle of nowhere thing has actually happened to me before, remind me to tell that story another time.)

I did what any sane, almost 30-year-old, self-sufficient, adult traveling with her daughter would do. I called my dad.

Okay, so maybe that is just me. Either way, I didn't cry. (One point for me.)

After talking to my dad (and him surprisingly not being able to do a damn thing over the phone) I walked into the gas station store and asked the woman if there was so where to have my car towed to. She gave me a business card and told me to call Ken.

Ken (may very well be my own personal angel) showed up precisely 15 minutes later and hooked my car up to his thingy-ma-bobber and told me that my battery had a short.

Now, I'm not sure what that means, or how it happened in the 12 minutes AJ and I were eating lunch inside, but it only cost me $150 to fix. That included parts (a new battery), labor, and a convenience fee (since Ken had driven out to the gas station to help me there). It honestly could not have gone any better than it did.

Add this little mishap to my speeding ticket from the first leg of the trip and I'm beginning to think that I won't be traveling for a while.

Don't worry. It gets better.

I arrive at my Aunt and Uncle's house unscathed, albeit later than expected, and get a phone call from D informing me that the dog has gone missing. He let her out while he went for a run (was gone approximately 45 minutes) and when he came home she was no where to be found.

Me, Abby and a bunny.

We had an invisible fence installed about 2 months ago and she is deathly afraid of crossing "the line."

Under no circumstances do I think she ran off. Each of the 4 times in the past 2 months that she has come into contact with the line she has run back into the house, whimpering (no, the shock is not that high, she is a total wuss).

Abby wearing a jacket.

We're pretty sure that someone drove by our house and took her. Our neighbors are also missing their dog and historically, this would not be the first time dogs have been stolen and then re-sold around here. Plus our next-door neighbors were outside, so if she had been, say, attacked and eaten by a wild animal, they would have heard her screaming or something.

Pretty girl.

Then while I was posting things all over the interwebs about her being missing and stuff I was trying to find a verification email that went into my spam folder. I got in there and saw what I thought (stupidly) was an email from a blogger about a giveaway that I entered. I immediately responded to the email with my full name and address (no other information, thankfully). Then I realized that I was in my spam folder and looked at the email address. Sure enough, it was something random. Sooooo, hopefully no one comes to our house to murder us or something, because we don't have a watch-dog anymore. :(

Not that Abby was ever a watch-dog.**

So yeah. I'm feeling pretty damn awesome about life right now.

If you have been a super-sleuth and know where we live (and happen to live near us), please keep an eye out for an overweight beagle named Abby.

She's talented...standing on an exercise ball.**

*Please excuse the massive amounts of dripping sarcasm used in this post. I tend to deal with things by being sarcastic.

**She hates us, BTW. The only reason I'm sure she didn't run away is because she is literally too simple-minded to plan an escape. Seriously.

P.S. "Simple-minded" is a really nice way of saying "she is the stupidest dog ever." I'm not trying to be mean. Anyone who has ever met her knows this to be nothing short of the God's honest truth. So, if you do happen to find her, wandering around somewhere, speak slowly and offer food (preferably Sonic Tots).

Purple and Other Fun Things

So apparently not everyone is interested in all my ramblings about motherhood and pictures of AJ. Really? I lost a follower after I posted yesterday. Not sure what that was about, but I know some of you understand what I'm feeling. Was it something specific? Did they not like my opinion on a topic. Oh well, its my blog and I'm allowed to write about whatever I want, and if you don't like it, then you can "unfollow" me. :P

Moving on! We haven't been too busy this week, mostly just relaxing, playing outside and spending time with the family. AJ was wearing the cutest outfit ever yesterday. I've honestly have it forever and have been waiting for the stars to align weather to be cool enough and her to be the right size to fit into it forever! Here she is in her plaid tunic and white jeans (yes, I dressed my 15 month old in white jeans, what about it?).



I think she looks pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself!

For some reason, she also likes to wear this little princess dress-up skirt on her head like she's the Pope or something. Its pretty funny.
Sorry the pic is so blurry, its hard to get her to stand still long enough to get a good one!

Showing off her awesome "hat."

Wednesday afternoon my mom came home and told my sister and I to go get pedicures while she watched AJ for me. I was really debating what color to get because I didn't want it to clash with my dress for the wedding this weekend. Only problem with that plan is that I haven't officially decided which dress I'm wearing for the wedding. Eek!

I'm debating between a coral strapless dress or a navy blue dress, both of which look super cute on, but I didn't want to get pink or red nails in case I wear the coral dress. I decided to go with a lilac (lavender) purple color, and it looks super cute!

Again, sorry for the crappy picture, I was trying to take it in the nail salon without looking like a total creep!

Also on Wednesday, AJ and I hopped in the car and drove to the city to meet my cousin's new baby, Kaley! She was born almost 3 weeks ago and I was so excited to meet her and ooh and aah over a new baby! AJ was too funny. She didn't really care about the baby, to be honest, she was more interested in their dog, but once I started holding Kaley, AJ flipped out! I guess its lucky that I'm not having a baby any time soon, maybe AJ will "mature" a little bit before that happens! Ha! One thing is for sure, life will be interesting if we ever have another!

My sister said that AJ looks like a giant next to Kaley!

She was sooo little! When she was born she was a whole pound smaller than AJ was as a newborn, so I'm thinking that right now she is the size that AJ was at birth. Its crazy to think that AJ was ever that little. I mean, I know she was, but it just has been almost completely wiped from my memory!

It was good seeing my cousin and his wife again, they seem to be adjusting to parenthood rather well, and I'm glad that we made the trek to see them!

All in all, we've had a fun week and more fun is on the agenda for this weekend! I believe AJ has plans with my parents to go to the Farmers' Market and I'm going to drink my weight in margaritas with my girlfriends. Can't wait!

I'll try and post an update Sunday night when I get back, but no guarantees as AJ and I are planning to head home early Monday morning, so I'm sure I'll be busy!

On Motherhood and Babies

My sister and I can make pretty much any situation awkward. Don't believe me? Then I'll wager a bet that you don't know us in real life. My family is not exactly known for being forthcoming or talking about important topics. We tend to be sarcastic and pick on each other. Its just how we do.

Anyway, we joked on twitter that we were going to ask our mom super awkward questions while I was home and last night we did just that. My sister had found an article in Real Simple and the questions the author listed seemed to have the awkward potential we were looking for, but might actually spark some conversation as well (or at least give us a little insight on our Mama).

So we got to peppering Ma with questions and the conversation went pretty much as we expected. There weren't any big, hidden, family secrets revealed, and honestly, it was interesting to hear my mom's perspective on our childhoods, but overall, I wasn't surprised by any of her answers.

It wasn't until I read an article posted by Kelly at Kelly's Korner that one of Ma's answers made me think.

When we asked her the first question, "What's the one thing you would have done differently as a Mom?" her answer was that she wishes she had taken the time when we were babies to enjoy us as babies more.

This really hit home for me. You know, because I have a baby. And while I love her as a baby, I find myself looking forward to the day she is older. Not any specific age, per se, but old enough to talk, follow directions, go to school, entertain herself for 8 seconds, etc.

Hearing my mom wish that she had savored the time we were babies and then reading the article that Kelly posted today really made me think and appreciate the fact that our babies are only babies for such a short period of time. Sure, I'll probably have another kid in the future, but AJ will only be a baby for another few months (some may even argue that she is already out of the baby stage). I can always experience a subsequent child's baby-hood, but I want to try and enjoy what is left of AJ's baby stage as well. I don't want to look back on my life (and AJ's) and wish I had savored the seasons of life more.

So I know that people of all ages and experiences read my blog, I'd be interested to know what you wish you'd done differently with your kids, whether they're still babies or grown and out of the house.

Must Read: Super Boring Post About Nothing!

Okay, so I figured that it had been long enough with no posts from me. I'm sucking it up and considering that this is my only job (you know, aside from going out to lunch and taking care of AJ) I should have something interesting for you.

Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Don't get me wrong. We've had a lot of excitement and done many interesting things since you heard from me last, but I don't have any pictures of any of it.

That's a lie. I have taken 2 pictures since Thursday. I have one picture of food and one picture of AJ. The thing is, lots of pictures could have been taken, but then the paranoia sets in and I fear that people will know who I am and where I hail from (not like 98% of you reading this don't already know) and come find me while I'm sleeping. You know, rational things like that.

AJ was with my in-laws this weekend while I headed to Iowa for a Bachelorette party. They took her to the zoo and had lots and lots of fun!

I also had fun, but in a vastly different and not-at-all-AJ-appropriate sense. I will say though, that as far as Bachelorette parties go, this one was tame. Much tamer than my own was. It was held at the bride's parent's house, and it was a pool party. The weather was okay, but not hot enough for me to want to get in the pool, so I drank many beers, played bags (cornhole?), and ate cupcakes, Buffalo Chicken Dip and lots of other yummy foods.

Sunday morning we were laughing about how old we all are because no one was hungover, we had all gotten a good night sleep and we were having a lengthy discussion about the merits of Fiestaware dishes versus other dishware. These are definitely not the things we discussed at my Bachelorette party 3.5 years ago (not that I remember much from that weekend, anyway). The funny thing was though, it was fun!

I'm super excited for the wedding this weekend, but I'm starting to get even more excited to get back home. I'm glad that I am able to see lots of friends and family, but I'm ready to sleep in my own bed again and just get back into our normal routine!

Before any of that happens though, AJ and I are going to meet my cousin's new baby, Kaley! She was born at the beginning of June and I can't wait to meet her, see her squishy new-ness and maybe even hold her!

In case you made it this far into the boring, picture-free post, here are the two pictures I've taken over the last 4 days.

My pizza at lunch today. Mmmmmm.

AJ having a morning snack.

I promise if you stick around another week or so I'll have some new baby pics along with other fun stuff we're doing the rest of the week and hopefully wedding pictures and lots of college roomie pictures from the weekend.

Beep, Beep! Comin' Through!

So we left off Wednesday afternoon after our trip to Jeni's ice cream. AJ took a great nap and when she got up, we headed up to my maternal grandparent's to visit. As I mentioned before, my grandad has recently been moved into the assisted living section of the community, so things are changing a lot for them and I think they've had a hard time adjusting to living in two separate places, even if they are only a 5 minute walk away.

AJ getting a picture with great-grandad.

And one with great-grammy.

My cousin Molly was there, too!

Pointing out where she found the cat treats in a drawer.

Pretty interested in said cat treats (she ate a few before I figured out what she was doing).

Pooped after a long, fun day of visiting (and eating cat treats)!

Thursday we got up bright and early again and headed Westward! I wanted to get on the road early to miss any chance of hitting traffic, and luckily it was smooth sailing the whole way! We got to my parent's house around noon and had lunch. After a failed nap, we proceeded to play outside for most of the afternoon.

AJ got in a little driving practice in Z's jeep.

As you can see, we don't play around, she is wearing her seatbelt. ;)

Now if only she could reach the clutch!

Don't fall out, AJ! There are no doors on that Jeep!

My "brother from another mother" aka Hutchy came over last night for dinner!

He was enjoying the faces AJ was making at him! He has a niece of his own who is about 6 months younger than AJ, so seeing AJ at this age will be good practice for him in a few months when Delaney is this age!

And AJ's favorite part of the trip so far, the neighbor's dog, Lily! They're perfectly sized for each other!

So, as you can see, we're having lots of fun and trying to just take it easy so AJ doesn't get too tired from all the activity! We've got lunch plans today and then tomorrow AJ heads up to the in-laws for a big party Saturday night while I head to a bachelorette party.

I'll post again next week with all our weekend pictures!

Happy Friday, all!

We Made It!

Just wanted to drop in and let you know that we officially made it to Hometown, USA this afternoon.

We got up early, made really good time and only stopped once in a 6 hour trip (Hallelujah!). I really just wanted to get the last long drive out of the way. We got to hang out with my sister this afternoon and then had dinner with my parents as well.

AJ is in bed, and I'm headed that way as well. Even though its only 8:15, all the traveling and driving is starting to catch up with me. I'm exhausted!

I'll make sure to get on and post more pictures and update you all on the trip so far in a few days (probably after I get back from the bachelorette party this weekend).

Until then, have a great rest of the week and don't be surprised if you don't see a post from me for a few days! I'll be on twitter most likely on and off all weekend, so if you *need* me, that's where to find me!

Nighty night, all!

Hometown, USA Trip: Part 1

I figured that since AJ is napping I'd get some of my pictures uploaded and let you all see what we've been up to since we got to Ohio yesterday afternoon.

We started out the drive early, which ended up being a good thing because it took a lot longer than I was expecting to make the drive. I was hoping that AJ would sleep in the car in the morning since I woke her up so early.

Early in the trip I decided to stop for breakfast so I could take my Poison Ivy medicine. I have to eat with it, so I figured a stop was warranted. We somehow chose the only fast food restaurant in the world that doesn't have high chairs (awesome! Thanks, Bo Jangles in Greensboro, NC!) and AJ face-planted into the table.

Shortly after recovering from that we got gas and hit the road again. I was hoping to get some miles behind us and may have exceeded the speed limit a bit and a friendly state trooper spotted me and issued me a ticket. Hooray! The trip was really starting out the way I was hoping!

Here I am, happy the sun has finally come up.

The picture above was taken right before the speeding ticket. We made a few more stops, one at a rest stop so AJ could run around and play for a bit. Then we stopped and got some snacks so we wouldn't have to make a lunch stop.

Right after the stop, around 10:45 AJ finally fell asleep.

Only took her 6 hours to finally fall asleep!

She spent some time reading.

We drove through lots of tunnels.

After we made it through all the tunnels, we were making pretty good time, things were starting to look up. That is until we pulled up to a toll booth and I only had $0.48. Luckily they wrote me an IOU and I was able to get cash at the next exit and pay the first toll with the second, but it definitely added an extra stop that I wasn't planning on making. But seriously, who doesn't realize that they're on a toll road until they get to the toll booth with no money? Fail.

And finally made it to Ohio!

AJ had to catch up on her email and twitter.

We visited with AJ's great-grandma.

And her great-grandpa.

AJ got her first taste of Skyline Chili!

And I enjoyed some, too.

After Skyline we went to Jeni's for ice cream!

I got the Salty Caramel and AJ had the Wildberry Lavender.

We liked the decorations in the shop!

Pretty flowers in a Mason jar.

As you can see, we've been having a great time here in Ohio! I'm so thankful we've got family here to let us crash in between legs of our trip to Hometown, USA. Its nice to see everyone and spend some quality time with my baby. I feel like we get in such a rut back home that its fun to switch things up a little bit.

Tonight we have dinner plans with AJ's other set of Ohio-based great-grandparents and one of my cousins and then tomorrow morning we're heading West for our second leg of the trip.

I know I'm excited to see my parents and the in-laws, plus a new baby, lots of friends and familiar surroundings in my hometown.

Well, we made it halfway! We got to Ohio yesterday afternoon and we were able to get out and play outside, run around, visit with family (two of my Aunts and Uncles, my paternal grandparents, three cousins and my Aunt's mom) and just enjoy not being in the car!

We're staying with my Aunt and Uncle and today we have dinner plans with my maternal grandparents and another cousin. My grandpa was recently moved into assisted living and I was informed that he doesn't look to good, so I'm a little nervous about seeing him, but glad we have to chance to go.

Also on the docket for the day is a trip to Skyline Chili (AJ's first!) for lunch and then a special visit to Jeni's ice cream after that! I promised AJ ice cream because everyone had ice cream last night after dinner, but it was too close to bedtime for AJ to have any.

I'm down in the basement now and the wireless Internet signal is kind of weak down here, so this afternoon while AJ naps I'm going to try and get the post about our travel day up (complete with pictures), so look for it!

For now folks, I hear AJ, so i guess thats my cue to get her and start heading upstairs

And We're Off!

AJ and I are starting the first leg of our trip today (in fact we're already on the road), so I won't really be posting on here, but I've got recipes scheduled for the next few days on my food blog, This American Kitchen, and I'll be on twitter during our stops and stuff.

I might be online at my Aunt and Uncle's in Ohio, but my next real post will likely be once we reach my parent's house in Hometown, USA.

Talk to you later!!

Please Help #FindLauren!

In case you missed my post last night, click here.

Please, just do it. Its important.

20 year old Indiana University student, Lauren Spierer, has been missing for 11 days now. Please help spread the word and let's find Lauren!



Tell everyone you know about her. Spread the word!

Help Find Lauren!

I'm not sure that everyone has heard about the search going on in and around Indiana University and Bloomington, IN. A young student named Lauren Spierer has been missing since June 3. My little sister just graduated from Indiana a few weeks ago and lived in the same apartment complex as Lauren. They didn't know each other, but its still scary to think that it could have been anyone.


Read the plea from Lauren's mom here.

Click here to read the Fox News story about Lauren.

If you or anyone you know is anywhere near IU, Bloomington, or Indiana in general, please keep your eyes open for her.

Heck, anyone anywhere, keep an eye out for her.

Even if you can't be in Indiana to help look for her, please pray for Lauren, that she be found safe and unharmed, and for her family, that they stay strong and remain hopeful.

Please share this post with your friends, readers and strangers. Let's get the word out and help find Lauren!

Here's the blog where you can get the code for this button.



Put it on your blog!

I Just Might Be the Lunatic You're Looking For

In fact, I know I am!

I'm planning to drive at least 14 hours in the car alone with a 15 month old.

My days of seeing this in the backseat are over for now. :(

At least I get to stop halfway and spend some time with the family in Ohio.

But have I mentioned that I'm planning to drive TWO seven hour days with a 15 month old?

I'm a little nervous.

She's at the stage where if she doesn't get exactly what she wants, when she wants it, she throws a fit. Oh wait, you call that the terrible two's? I'm so glad that my baby is an overachiever and started that phase the second she catapulted into her second year of life.

This is pretty much standard these days.

Anyway, back to my fears.

I considered flying. I really did. With gas prices the way they are, it would probably make fiscal sense to fly instead of drive, but I really could not justify the pain and agony AJ would cause me and everyone within a 600 mile radius fellow passengers if she had to be strapped-into a car seat on a plane for a few hours. Add to that the fact that trying to fly alone while transporting a carseat, stroller, luggage, diapers, snacks, toys, AND a 15 month old? No thanks.

I'd rather drive.

At least then I'm the only one who wants to crawl into a hole and die bring D's Ear Protection in the car with me. Plus we can take our time. We can stop whenever, and we have an excuse to visit family in Ohio.

Plus I have no problem turning the radio up to drown out the screeching from the backseat. We also have a DVD player for the car, so I'm planning to get a few kiddie DVD's to attempt to entertain her.

I'm not a stranger to long drives with baby, but AJ's at the age where if she's awake, she wants to be active, and I'm doing this trip alone, so I just want to be prepared.

Other than that, if any of you have any advice for me, it will be greatly appreciated!

Get In Mah Belly!

If you've been reading my {lack of} posts lately, you know that AJ and I are about to embark on a semi cross-country drive back to Hometown, USA for a little family time with my grandparents, a wedding, sleepovers with AJ's grandparents, dinner with relatives, and ohhhh, dinner with the relatives.

FIL, are you listening?

I need me some homemade gravy, pasta, meatballs, sausage, and maybe some manicotti and garlic bread.

Please notice that I said NEED, not want. I NEED someone to make me a delicious, multi-course, homemade Italian meal.

Oh, I also need to get some real Hometown, USA food while I'm home too.

You can bet that I'm going to make every effort to eat at Skyline Chili when I stop in Ohio to visit my grandparents. Also, at bloggy BFF Moe's urging, I'm going to hook myself up to an IV of eat some Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream as well.

I don't even consider Columbus, OH to be my hometown (although I did live there for several years as a youngster). I have lots (and lots) of family there and my parents grew up there though, so its kind of a second hometown for me (or third, but that's another story).

Also, in case it wasn't clear, I equate food with happiness. A visit home isn't complete without at least trip to the best hotdog restaurant ever, or a sandwich (complete with hot peppers) from Potbelly. Don't even get me started on pizza. Oh, pizza. How I miss you when I'm gone.

Sidenote: I'm sure other cities have pizza as well. Its just not the same. Let's not get into a debate on whether Windy City pizza or Big Apple pizza is better. Just agree to disagree, k? Mmmk!

So folks, to wrap up the story, I'm going home to eat. I will most likely return to the land of eternal summer a good 20 5 pounds heavier than when I leave here next week. I'm also going to drink. Lots. I am going to a bachelorette party and a wedding sans bebe, I mean, what do you expect?

I just hope I don't gain too much to fit back in the car at the end of the trip! ;)

15 Months....

Its hard to believe that this little girl is already 15 months old!

Here she is almost exactly a year ago, the day we moved into our house at FLW.

She is definitely testing her limits and acting more and more like a toddler with each passing day. If the amount of attitude and tantrums we've seen around here lately is any indication of how the terrible twos is going to go, then just wish me luck, folks! I'm gonna need it!

A standard face in our house lately.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this in her 14 month post, but AJ's favorite thing to do when I tell her no or she doesn't get her way is to lean down and bonk her forehead on the floor. It doesn't matter if we're on carpet or in the garage, she does it. Part of me thinks its kind of funny, but then the other part (the mom?) is afraid she's going to hurt herself.

Here's the infamous face again. Can you believe that I won't let her run on the couch or play with chemicals? I'm totally unreasonable.

We're also really struggling with the whole nap situation. There are days when she can totally skip her morning nap and take a longer afternoon nap and be fine and there are other days that she absolutely MUST have two full naps (and she's still a crab). Don't get me wrong, I LOVE 2 naps a day, but I wish she would figure it out already!

I think part of the napping issues we've been having is that she is getting 3 (or maybe more) new teeth right now. If you can get a glimpse into her mouth, you'd laugh because she has the most random, haphazard assortment of teeth I've ever seen! She seriously looks like JimBob or some other hillbilly with her scattered teeth. At least I know she'll eventually get more, but its funny for now!

She loves climbing up on the ottoman and watching her "shows," Clifford and Sesame Street.

As far as food and eating goes, she is still a fairly good eater. Her favorite foods are hummus (yes!), watermelon (this is new for her), grapes, apples, goldfish crackers, rice, mac and cheese, eggs, ice cream, and sometimes chicken. She used to be big on yogurt, but I haven't been able to get her to eat it lately. She is eating more and more of what we eat (as I slowly introduce her to spicier things) and I think she's liking the new flavors!

Having some fun at breakfast!

She is starting to play correctly with her toys more and more now, which is so much fun to watch! When FIL was here a few weeks ago, we bought her a little adirondack chair and she loves to sit in it (all by herself) and carry it around the room! She also really likes to play with her big blue ball and put things in her purse! We've gone to the pool a few times in the past week and she LOVES the water as well. I think we're in for a FUN summer!

She loves to get on the living room couch and have a bottle before nap time.

One of her favorite things to do is unplug appliances from the wall. It (obviously) makes me super nervous and I'm not sure what to do about it (or how to get her to stop doing it). Suggestions, anyone?

Posing with Mama!

She has started talking more and more, and she will try to get my attention by saying, "Mom?" over and over again. So cute! She also says "Bee," "Ball," "TanU (thank you)," "Dada," "PupPup," "Baba," and a few others. She still doesn't ask for things specifically, but she signs for water (or milk) and runs to the front door when I say "Want to go outside?" and she runs to the pantry or fridge when I ask if she's hungry. She also knows the word diaper and will either grab me one or pat the one she's wearing when I say it!

A little lady on a mission!

She is at such a fun age that even though she's throwing tantrums a lot, I know its because she is frustrated with learning to communicate and test her limits, so I'm trying to be patient and bounce back quickly. We're having lots of fun playing together and she loves to help me out around the house! She especially likes to "clean" things.

"Cleaning" the couch cushions with a paper towel. Look how happy she is!

So now you have a pretty good idea of what my life looks like right now!